Few social policies seem to do as much universal good as paid paternity leave: Study after study has shown that when a father plays an active role in a child’s early years, he or she will end up healthier, achieve greater academic success, and even make more money. Everybody wins. Unfortunately, our country’s paid family …
Few social policies seem to do as much universal good as paid paternity leave: Study after study has shown that when a father plays an active role in a child’s early years, he or she will end up healthier, achieve greater academic success, and even make more money. Everybody wins. Unfortunately, our country’s paid family …
Which presidential candidate is best for dads?
Which presidential candidate is best for dads?
Politicians prefer to define problems in a way that makes them fixable, especially if “We the People” granted politicians more power. While they try to look busy with the easy, fixable problems, they ignore problems — perhaps the real problems — that are hard to solve.
Thus, they often seem more concerned with looking like they are fixing things so they can preserve their own position than actually taking on meaningful reform.
This dynamic is responsible for much of the population’s anger and frustration with the establishment that flows freely this election cycle, and fatherlessness is an exceptional example.
Yet the issue does not catch fire with Republicans even as fatherlessness grows.
Part of this is cultural. For example, societal norms have seen a rise in “unformed families,” and cohabitation arrangements are less stable than marital ones. Such cultural problems require cultural fixes, which require long term strategies outside of politics.
Should men become husbands and fathers—and many men today are choosing not to—they don’t stand a chance in a court of law if and when they get divorced. Family court judges are hopelessly biased against fathers. Of the two million restraining orders issued each year—85 percent against men—half don’t include any evidence of violence but rely on vague complaints made without proof or evidence. And once an order is issued, it becomes nearly impossible for a father to retain or regain custody or even get to see his own children. “Right under our noses, massive systemic injustice is being visited upon fathers, threatening the very fundamentals of family, society, and democracy,” writes Todd M. Aglialoro.
However, once a child’s parents split, in the unformed families and in divorce, fatherless often results from court decree. This family lawaspect of the problem has political solutions.
We the People might want solutions, but the establishment prefers the status quo.
Few social policies seem to do as much universal good as paid paternity leave: Study after study has shown that when a father plays an active role in a child’s early years, he or she will end up healthier, achieve greater academic success, and even make more money. Everybody wins. Unfortunately, our country’s paid family …
Children’s psychological reaction to divorce varies a great deal, according to Psychology Today. Their reactions depend on the nature of their relationship with each parent, the intensity and length of their parents’ divorce, how much they see each parent after the divorce and their personality.
Boys and girls suffer equally if their parents go through a lengthy and messy divorce, explains PsychPage.
However, boys act out their frustration and anger. Girls are more likely to internalize their emotions, which can result in depression, physical discomfort or changes in their eating and sleeping habits.
When parents divorce, it is important to maintain routine and stability in their children’s lives, explains Psychology Today.
It is all too common for children, especially adolescents, to become isolated from their divorced parents. Sometimes this isolation can take years to overcome. Children who continue to have a balanced relationship with both parents after a divorce typically cope better in the long run.
“Develops in individuals assaulted by ethical violations, legal abuses, betrayals, and fraud” and that’s exacerbated by “abuse of power and authority and a profound lack of accountability in our courts.” ~ Karin P. Huffer
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Never doubt why so many are working so hard to #fixfamilycourts Every parent starts out equal but does not remain that way in the So-called family courts.
Once you enter that court you feel nothing but attacked. Your life and decisions are no longer your own. Your children are stripped from the life you thought you were protected to live. People in the family court process step in between you and your child regardless of whether you are for or not.
Some like Chris are left with no hope of ever recovering. What do you do when the court you thought would protect you and your child from vicious attacks on your fundamental rights fails you? Where do you turn when you cannot afford justice and when there is no hope for it?
Exactly two years ago today Chris Mackney took his own life after enduring the horrors of family court as long as he was able. The ex-wife (Dina Mackney) of Ch… See More
Bullied to Death: Chris Mackney’s Kafkaesque Divorce There is no one way or no best way to tell the story of a man driven by others to…Read More
Where is the LOVE? …where on Earth.. ….not in Family Court or the hearts of those within the CPS, CYFS, SS. CAS or any other child…Read More
Gary Treistman explains how the Family Court System separated his daughter from him.
Owen Lucas films his open letter to the court admitting that he is in contempt of court for doing so.
He tells us of his grief and impotence in the face of the family court system.
Owen speaks for so many fathers who find themselves in the palm of ex-partners colluding with a system that in many cases, strips fathers of their homes, their children and their dignity – and often their jobs and financial stability too.
Mothers are given legal aid and fathers are not unless there is already proven child abuse.
In cases where abuse is suspected or even confirmed, a father has no clout to impact the family court system in many cases.
NB. If you know a child is being abused, ensure that a. you take photographs b. you film them speaking of the events and c. you inform the police without delay. These three steps may well be the difference between whether you become alienated from, or the main caregiver to your child/children.
Yesterday I gazed out the window watching fireworks and was really missing my angel but I cannot call her because I am scared of her mom’s false allegations and lies, she doesn’t call me and knowing she is…Read More
WLYB……I have tried to educate this board of 4 Florida Judges (Chief Judge Bertila Soto-11th Jud. Cir. FL, Judge Garber-3rd DCA FL,…Read More
Mothers make infants but when the infants become children they are likely to be less well socialized if they have no fathers. 1 It is largely father absence which creates ghettos and gangs and messed-up kids—boys trying to find their identity through violence, girls trying to find their identity through sexual promiscuity which generates the male violence of the next generation. They need real fathers, sociological fathers, not mere biological studs interested in a one-night stand or a brief or superficial relationship. Sociological fatherhood is real fatherhood. It is also what Margaret Mead called “a social invention.” In the ghettos biological fathers seldom become sociological fathers, seldom amount to much, because Mom’s sexual promiscuity or disloyalty—her belief in what feminists call a woman’s right to control her own sexuality—denies them the role of sociological fatherhood. Lawmakers and judges fail to understand that fatherhood is a social invention, that it must be created and maintained by society. This is the main reason patriarchal society— the father kinship system—exists. They do not grasp that social heredity has become part of biology and that fathers are the primary means of transmitting social heredity. They suppose that humans can live like cattle, without fathers, with only the meager social heredity found in female kinship systems such as ghettos and Indian reservations. Until lawmakers and judges see that they must support the father’s role because it is the weak biological link in the family we will have more matriarchy—along with its accompaniments: educational failure, illegitimacy, teen suicide, gangs and the rest.
This book deals with the problems of: THE FEMALE KINSHIP SYSTEM OR MATRIARCHY OR THE CLASSIFICATORY SYSTEM OR MOTHER-RIGHT——the system of female-headed families” which has created ghettos and barrios by encouraging women to marry the state and breed fatherless children who are eight times more likely to become delinquent.
I recently had the opportunity of revisiting a question that I have struggled to find answers to for many years. The question is, why, in the face of a parent sexually, physically or verbally abusing a child, does the other parent remain silent?
This is a phenomenon I have been aware of in countless numbers of cases reported to me by patients who are now adult and clearly recall not only the abuse but the fact that the other parent offered no safety.
The question others have asked me and that I ask myself is, how or why would a parent remain silent in the face of children being abused. Here a few hypotheses.
1. Denial is a powerful and primitive defense mechanism. Someone who is dependent, frightened and themselves the victim of abuse, can remain silent and not even see or hear the abuse in order to maintain the desperately needed relationship with the abuser. In a way, it is a variation of the old saying, “Hear no evil, see no evil.” Well, people do hear it and see it and fail to act.
2. Both abuser and spouse can be mentally ill people who collude out of mutually shared sadism. In others words, there are a few people who can get a sense of pleasure out of treating children abusively.
3. Over the years, I have known a few cases in which the wife has such a deep need to avoid sexual relations that they prefer their husband engage in Oedipal relations with a daughter. This is usually unconscious with full denial in operation.
4. Chronic and severe drug and alcohol abuse loosen inhibitions that otherwise sober and sensible people do things that would shock them if they were not under the influence of certain types of drugs.
5. There are parents who, having been raised in strict and abusive environments, then repeat the pattern once they are parents. The vicious cycle of abuse is probably the major cause of domestic violence in the United States.
One of the distressing and utterly frustrating and despairing things that survivors of abuse discover as adults, is that their parents deny that anything ever happened.
Patients have reported to me that parents, when confronted by their adult child with the abuse they committed, tell their son or daughter that their memory is wrong.
It is natural to ask why an adult would now confront their parents about abusive acts that happened during childhood? Apparently, the answer is that these survivors are seeking an apology and an affirmative statement admitting their wrong doing. This is what makes the discussion so filled with despair for so many survivors.
The despair results not simply by the refusal of an apology, but the complete denial that anything happened. This is further exacerbated by the fact that neighbors and friends of the parents think them very “nice people” who would never do such a despicable thing as abuse a child.
When Joan Crawford’s daughter published the story of her childhood, a story that depicted Crawford’s cruel and outlandish acts of abuse, there was a public outcry that this never could have happened. Later, the outcry vanished when the truth and accuracy of the story emerged for the public to see.
Parental alienation is the enactment of power and control over a targeted parent through a child or children by an alienating parent. To that extent, it falls within the widely accepted definitions of domestic violence and abuse (i) which are enshrined in legislation and policy around the world. However, in our experience, whilst domestic violence and abuse may be recognized as an element of the relationship between parents in dispute over children matters, the professionals who advise the courts rarely, if ever, approach the case with an understanding that a child’s rejecting position may be the extension of a pattern of domestic abuse that has been present between the parents whilst the family was together.
The Bubbles of Love Annual Celebration focuses on the need to educate the world about parental alienation. Divorced parents must stop using their children as weapons of emotional war against their former spouses. It is not fair to the children or the other spouse.
Helping to bring awareness that by increasing the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible, and committed fathers it will improve the well being of children.
The problem is that many courts ignore false allegations against fathers and men. False allegations of domestic violence and child abuse are common in family law proceedings and the person making the allegation (predominately female) far too often succeeds. This is a low risk tactic because the courts rarely hold false accusers accountable for their conduct.
I have found that mediators, social workers, police and probation officers extensively quote the accuser and ignore the facts given by the falsely accused person. Worse, they deliberately fabricate statements and then attribute these fabricated statements to the falsely accused party. I have seen sixty-three (63) separate occurrences where such persons used the same text and just filled in the blanks, changing only the name. Many judges fail to act in good faith and sometimes courts alter signed documents and testimony given under an oath of truthfulness.
The core of this issue is that one spouse wants to control the other through child custody and the money and the property they gain to receive. A key factor in false allegations of spousal abuse and in Parental Alienation Syndrome is that the controlling party is incapable of civility and truthfulness about their partner. These abusers are selfish and do not care what the other parent or children feel.
A false accusation can give an abusive woman exclusive control of the children and the property. This gives them a nearly insurmountable advantage in the legal system. Our misandrious courts often treat innocent males as the guilty party and do not require proof that an accusation be true. The problem is that false allegations of abuse, when recanted or proven false, can devastatingly affect the victim and their children. This can cause permanent physical, emotional, and economic effects. The problem is that the courts rarely punish those who lie or abet such conduct.
So with a stroke of a pen, a female can get the other parent out of her life and assure herself of control of the children. That power extends to her control of her husband, his earnings, and his property. The governments have structured our support laws to account for household income rather than the ex-husband‘s income alone. Child support is taxable to the payer and not the recipient. With those so easily made signatures. This means that the ex-wife can increase her tax-free income from combined incomes of her former husband and his current spouse or a live-in partner.
This is how the laws exacerbate the problem in states having high child support guidelines, high wages, and high cost of living. Higher wages bring higher tax rates yet most payers of child support cannot claim children as dependents. Moving to other states that have a lower cost of living is not an option for non custodial parents because court ordered child support payments remain unchanged. Worse, moving to another region with a lower cost of living may trigger a court review that increases child support payments.
Custodial parents can often improve their living standard by moving to states or regions that have a lower cost of living. This is how they can still collect the same court ordered tax-free ‘child support’ payments. The courts often base child support payments on how much contact that the non custodial parent has with their child (or children). Moving away and false accusations are tactics that have exacted larger child support payments.
Deterioration of the Parental Relationship
Far too often parents fail to agree in advance on issues aboutraising children. Moreover, they fail to plan for a maturing relationship where roles and responsibilities change. So when parents are in conflict about these issues, then Parental Alienation Syndrome can come to the forefront.
The public behavior of an abusive parent or spouse can be amiable but their private behavior is often quite different. Abusive parents and spouses use fear and reprisal. When a parent’s interest places control rather than sharing before the child’s welfare, and the child is left between an angry warring person and a caring parent.
In this world of causes, there is one that seems to go unnoticed. This issue…Divorce, child custody, support and equality.
With the annual divorce rate now above 60% nationally, we are still treating modern day divorce with antiquated and outdated state statutes. The statutes that are in place were placed there in the 1950’s!! What does the 50’s have to do with the new millennium?!! This horrible injustice that is perpetrated on divorcing parents by our courts must stop! Sure, they profess that they provide a service that is in “the best interest of the children” but after doing an enormous amount of research…I see that is doubtful at best.
The modern day “divorce terrorism act” that is acceptable and recommended by some attorneys to their clients, is to accuse the other spouse of Domestic Violence. Therefore ensuring them full and clear custody of the children. Just being accused, let alone being convicted, will permanently mar any chance for the other spouse to ever see the children without supervision or to ever get custody, no matter how dangerous the household of the estranged spouse. Having experienced this personally, I feel it is my duty to let the web world know that this is the “new normal” happening in the courts.Since it’s inception into the public realm in the 90’s, the accusation of Domestic Violence is a quicker, more efficient way to shift focus off the other spouses’ shortcomings and to ensure that you will never have any rights to your children.
Attorneys now institute immediate Restraining Orders or CPO’s (depending on your state) in order to procure ultimate power in the courts. Officers of the law in your state are so strictly monitored that they cannot afford the penalties imposed on them personally and professionally. They just arrest without due process. (Due process being a historical lineage of abuse or prior record of child neglect, abuse or molestation.) All the other spouse has to do is merely call up an Officer of the Law (and I saw Law lightly) and make an accusation. No questions asked, the accused WILL BE carted off publicly in handcuffs and charged with preliminary abuse. The court battle is long and costly and even if you are never convicted, the arrest record remains and as you look for future employment, you will find you are denied based on the fact that you are a potential violent offender.
A protective order is immediately drawn up at the time of arrest (even before conviction) by the court, that will keep you from your children unless supervised, therefore, providing your estranged spouse with the power to put off any pre-trial hearing until the initial paperwork is drawn up, giving them full temporary custody of the children. Once one parent is given this, it is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to reverse it.
We’re just inviting you to take a timeout into the rhythmic ambiance of our breakfast, brunch and/or coffee selections. We are happy whenever you stop by.