The psychological effects of divorce.

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DivorceCorp - Consulted a minister and psychiatrist NOT Lawyer - AFLA Blog 2016

The psychological effects of divorce on children may include depression and conduct disorders, notes Psychology Today. Breaking up a family leads to feelings of confusion, abandonment and separation anxiety due to children’s dependence on their parents for love, support and guidance while growing up.children4justice -Psychological Damage - 2016

Children’s psychological reaction to divorce varies a great deal, according to Psychology Today. Their reactions depend on the nature of their relationship with each parent, the intensity and length of their parents’ divorce, how much they see each parent after the divorce and their personality.Psych Eval Family courts - 2016

Boys and girls suffer equally if their parents go through a lengthy and messy divorce, explains PsychPage.

Judge used psychologist as scape-goat - Stand up for Zoraya - 2015However, boys act out their frustration and anger. Girls are more likely to internalize their emotions, which can result in depression, physical discomfort or changes in their eating and sleeping habits.

When parents divorce, it is important to maintain routine and stability in their children’s lives, explains Psychology Today.

Stop using Psychiatry agaisnt Dads in Family Court - 2015It is all too common for children, especially adolescents, to become isolated from their divorced parents. Sometimes this isolation can take years to overcome. Children who continue to have a balanced relationship with both parents after a divorce typically cope better in the long run.

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Sources: psychologytoday.com  psychpage.com  life.familyeducation.com

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Civil Rights in Family Law Florida

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Denial of reasonable access to your own kids is child abuse

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Child Abuse and the Role of Parental Denial

I recently had the opportunity of revisiting a question that I have struggled to find answers to for many years. The question is, why, in the face of a parent sexually, physically or verbally abusing a child, does the other parent remain silent?

Do NOT hurt Zoraya - Facebook.comStandupforZoraya - 2016This is a phenomenon I have been aware of in countless numbers of cases reported to me by patients who are now adult and clearly recall not only the abuse but the fact that the other parent offered no safety.

The question others have asked me and that I ask myself is, how or why would a parent remain silent in the face of children being abused. Here a few hypotheses.

1. Denial is a powerful and primitive defense mechanism. Someone who is dependent, frightened and themselves the victim of abuse, can remain silent and not even see or hear the abuse in order to maintain the desperately needed relationship with the abuser. In a way, it is a variation of the old saying, “Hear no evil, see no evil.” Well, people do hear it and see it and fail to act.PAS Monkeys - 2016

32d7c-denying2ba2bchild2bto2ba2bparent2bis2bevil2b-2b20162. Both abuser and spouse can be mentally ill people who collude out of mutually shared sadism. In others words, there are a few people who can get a sense of pleasure out of treating children abusively.

3. Over the years, I have known a few cases in which the wife has such a deep need to avoid sexual relations that they prefer their husband engage in Oedipal relations with a daughter. This is usually unconscious with full denial in operation.

4. Chronic and severe drug and alcohol abuse loosen inhibitions that otherwise sober and sensible people do things that would shock them if they were not under the influence of certain types of drugs.

5. There are parents who, having been raised in strict and abusive environments, then repeat the pattern once they are parents. Saddest thing in the world - 2016The vicious cycle of abuse is probably the major cause of domestic violence in the United States.

One of the distressing and utterly frustrating and despairing things that survivors of abuse discover as adults, is that their parents deny that anything ever happened.

Patients have reported to me that parents, when confronted by their adult child with the abuse they committed, tell their son or daughter that their memory is wrong.

It is natural to ask why an adult would now confront their parents about abusive acts that happened during childhood? Apparently, the answer is that these survivors are seeking an apology and an affirmative statement admitting their wrong doing. This is what makes the discussion so filled with despair for so many survivors.

Society Do Nothing - 2016.pngThe despair results not simply by the refusal of an apology, but the complete denial that anything happened. This is further exacerbated by the fact that neighbors and friends of the parents think them very “nice people” who would never do such a despicable thing as abuse a child.

When Joan Crawford’s daughter published the story of her childhood, a story that depicted Crawford’s cruel and outlandish acts of abuse, there was a public outcry that this never could have happened. Later, the outcry vanished when the truth and accuracy of the story emerged for the public to see.

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Advocates Build Network

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The Love and Iron Project

So, I’m happy to report that one of our posts (the one pinned to the top of our page) got trolled again. I love this, because it means we’re being effective.

So, in order to make the point, I presume, that the position of this page and its followers is invalid, she cites an opinion piece (linked below) by Huffington Post Feminist “Divorce Coach”, Cathy W. Meyer; “Do Dads Really Get Dissed In Divorce Court?”

Please note the following quote taken directly from the website of Ms. Myers:

“I think the female spirit is the most beautiful, complex thing God has ever created. I believe that we can do anything we put our minds too. If you don’t believe me, watch Man on Wire.”

Ok, I think helps lend some perspective on where this piece is starting from.

So, let’s look at the arguments:

Now in her piece, the…

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