Trust Women? Hahahahahaha

#StandupforZoraya #SayHerName, Blogs Followed, Family Court Insanity, Fathers' Rights, PAS is Child Abuse, Petitions, Presidential Election

real-women-support-fathers-rights-2017#TrustWome?  Hahahahahaha – moms4dads

There’s a new campaign in town… First, we had to Listen and Believe. Now, we are told we have to #TrustWomen  Why? Because they’re women. And… because it’s 2016. Trust me, it’s still 2016, it’s true, I said it and I’m a woman, therefore it’s true.

Wait, I thought being sexist was wrong and I thought feminism is about equality, then why trust only women, why not everybody? I guess the next campaign will be #TrustMigrants, why not, right? What could possibly go wrong?

“It’s now or never for reproductive rights”

(Women’s reproductive rights, obviously, because feminism is about equality…)

Source: #TrustWomen? Hahahahahaha – moms4dads

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EX-WIVES WHO BECOME PARENTAL ALIENATORS

#StandupforZoraya #SayHerName, Blogs Followed, Family Court Insanity, Fathers' Rights, PAS is Child Abuse, Petitions, Presidential Election

 

Do NOT hurt Zoraya - Facebook.comStandupforZoraya - 2016

WHEN EX-WIVES BECOME ALIENATORS

Guilty until Proven Innocent!

After reading the list, don’t get discouraged when you notice that some of your own behaviors have been alienating your ex-spouse. This is normal in even the best of parents. Instead, let the list help sensitize you to how you are behaving and what you are saying to your children. Here are common mistakes:

To prevent the devastating effects of Parental Alienation, you must begin by recognizing the symptoms of PA. You will notice that many of the symptoms or behaviors focus on the parent. When the child exhibits hatred and vilifies the targeted parent, then the condition becomes parental alienation syndrome. After reading the list, don’t get discouraged when you notice that some of your own behaviors have been alienating. This is normal in even the best of parents. Instead, let the list help sensitize you to how you are behaving and what you are saying to your children.

1. Giving children choices when they really have no choice about visits. Allowing the child to decide for themselves to visit when the court order says there is no choice sets up the child for conflict. The child will usually blame the non-residential parent for not being able to decide to choose whether or not to visit. The parent is now victimized regardless of what happens; not being able to see his children or if they see them, the children are angry. Again, if you do these things intentionally, it make give you a chuckle now knowing you are hurting your ex, but you are truly hurting your child who eventually grows up, learns how things work and turns their back on YOU in turn. In literally 90% of these cases, the parent who causes the problem ends up with the short stick.

2. Telling the child what you want them to think is “everything” about the marital relationship or ‘all’ reasons for the divorce is also alienating behavior. The parent usually argues that they are “just wanting to be honest” with their children. This practice is destructive and painful for the child. The alienating parent’s motive is for the child to think less of the other parent. In reality, the child always looks up to a parent. If that parent lets them down in person, then that parent suffers. If you are doing these things, you are in person and it is a let down. You will suffer eventually for these actions.

3. Refusing to acknowledge that children have property and may want to transport their possessions between residences. Doesn’t matter who bought who what. Once it is given to someone, it is theirs.

4. Resisting or refusing to cooperate by not allowing the other parent access to school or medical records and schedules of extracurricular activities. Telling professionals not to let the other parent have access is going to work against you. These professionals know what you are doing. They may humor you but they know the law. It is not yours to rewrite. So ‘behind’ your back, they will grant legally to the other parent whatever it is they need. Also note, if the opposing parent were so evil you felt they do not deserve access, why are they allowed to walk the street? It will backfire in a big way in time.

5. A parent blaming the other parent for financial problems, breaking up the family, changes in lifestyle, or having a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. Just like when you hear someone else tell the same tale, the child may not know it yet, but in time, just like when you heard it, they will know you are an excuse maker.

6. Refusing to be flexible with the visitation schedule in order to respond to the child’s needs or other parent’s work schedule. The alienating parent may also schedule the children is so many activities that the other parent is never given the time to visits. Of course we all know you do this so when the targeted parent protests you can described them as not caring and selfish. However, the child will eventually wise up that the complaining parent only wants to see them and you were the one conflicting the schedule.

7. Assuming that if a parent had been physically abusive with the other parent, it follows that the parent will eventually assault the child. This assumption is not always true. Sometimes you cause the other parent to dislike you and become abusive. Pretending this is not true does not change the facts.

8. Asking the child to choose one parent over another parent causes the child considerable distress. If you try to sneak in “Well, which of us would you rather be with?” you are looking for trouble. Typically, they do not want to reject either parent, but instead want to avoid the issue. The child, not the parent, should initiate any suggestion for change of residence.

9. Children will always at one time or another become angry with a parent. This is normal, particularly if the parent disciplines or has to say “no”. If for any reason the anger is not allowed to heal, you can suspect parental alienation. Trust your own experience as a parent. Children will forgive and want to be forgiven if given a chance. Be very suspicious when the child calmly says they cannot remember any happy times with you or say anything they like about you. That means someone at home is brainwashing them.

10. Be suspicious when a parent or step-parent raises the question about changing the child’s name. A mother can change her name back to maiden but in the majority of cases where the child is denied the father’s last name, the amount of further alienation is immeasurable. There is no other means that compares to show what is to come if a mother changes or denies the father’s name. It will not get better.

11. When children cannot give reasons for being angry towards a parent or their reasons are very vague without any details. This is because the alienated parent has done nothing to them. The child becomes confused but eventually realizes, it was all brain washing.

12. A parent having secrets, special signals, a private rendezvous, or words with special meanings are very destructive and reinforce an on-going alienation. Act your age before the child out grows you.

13. When a parent uses a child to spy or covertly gather information for the parent’s own use, the child receives a damaging message that demeans the victimized parent. Try this with a teenager and they may just switch homes on you.

14. Parents setting up temptations that interfere with the child’s visitation. Planning vacations or special events or trips to the mall to buy something they always wanted. Making the child late is another common mistake. As a full time parent, you can easily schedule things around the visiting parent. Learn to do so.

15. A parent suggesting or reacting with hurt or sadness to their child having a good time with the other parent will cause the child to withdraw and not communicate. They will frequently feel guilty or conflicted not knowing that it’s “okay” to admit they have fun with their other parent. Just as different breeds of dogs cannot mate, they still get along and realize it’s OK to be different. The faster you do this, the easier the rest of your life will become.

16. The parent asking the child about his/her other parent’s personal life causes the child considerable tension and conflict. Children who are not alienated want to be loyal to both parents. They also do not think of their parents in this light. Putting them there will push them away from you.

17. When parents pretend physically or psychologically rescue the children when there is no threat to their safety. This practice reinforces in the child’s mind the illusion of threat or danger, thereby reinforcing alienation until the child realizes the only fear is that of when you will pull this act again. You will scare them into leaving you.

18. Making demands on the other parent that is contrary to court orders. You are not the law and eventually the law will find out and the law will enforce itself, correct you and cause such embarrassment, it may cost you custody.

19. Listening in on the children’s phone conversation they are having with the other parent. They do not want you listening in when they speak to their friends and you do not. So do you not think they will find it bizarre if you suddenly insist on listening in on this particular conversation?

20. One way to cause your own alienation is making a habit of breaking promises to your children. Especially if they are promises that deter the child from giving affection or time to the other parent. In time, your ex-spouse will get tired of having to make excuses for you and the child will leave the truth.

You may think you know better or are more clever than those who have tried this before you, but trust us, you do not know better nor realize what you are doing.  Don’t believe it? Someone else agrees…..

Parental Alienation…Bubbles

#StandupforZoraya #SayHerName, Blogs Followed, Family Court Insanity, Fathers' Rights, PAS is Child Abuse, Petitions, Presidential Election, Uncategorized

The Bubbles of Love Annual Celebration focuses on the need to educate the world about parental alienation. Divorced parents must stop using their children as weapons of emotional war against their former spouses. It is not fair to the children or the other spouse.

Helping to bring awareness that by increasing the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible, and committed fathers it will improve the well being of children.

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Parental Alienation is a term used to describe the behavior of a parent and often other family members who manipulate a child’s mind with the motive of severing all ties between the child and the other parent. The agenda is packed with various tactics and actions are pre-meditated. When the pressure on the child to remain loyal to the alienating parent becomes too intense, the child gives up, and total rejection of the other parent becomes reality.

It may appear as though the child is happy about their new, parentless status, but suppressing a relationship with the other parent is emotionally unhealthy and impacts them for a lifetime. This is a reality in Albion, PA, where children and parents are impacted, just as it is a reality all across the World. We need to find people who can help.

Interestingly enough, one elementary school counselor took a brochure but told me she is told “not to get involved” with these situations. My response to her was, “That is a problem.” I have to question if people understand that parental alienation is emotional bruising just as physical abuse leaves visible marks on a child’s body. It harms a child’s development. Do people care or are they ignorant? Are we failing our children by not facing reality? What kind of society do we live in?

Parents who are on a mission to destroy a bond between a child and the other parent can only be punished through the courts and by God. There is little we can do about them and their behavior. They tell others they are “protecting” their child and make the child feel like the other parent is unworthy of a relationship with their child. Something no child should have to hear, for that parent is parent of who they are.

Parents who are on the receiving end of the alienation are often helpless. There is little they can by themselves. They stand helpless, as they watch the relational death between themselves and their children. They watch their children construct a wall between them as a result of the brainwashing. The parents witness the joy being drained out of their children’s lives, as they are asked to spy, lie, and even partake in the intense denigration. They watch their children sabotage their time with them in order to remain abnormally loyal to the alienating parent (and family). Alienated parents cannot help their own children because they are portrayed as the enemy. The courts fail them too.

Family courts embrace adversarial situations and often empower the alienating parent. Alienating parents have passed the course in manipulation and are very convincing. As a result, the courts lack of education, empathy, knowledge of children development or need for power further hurts the child.

Why are you denied contact - 2015

The damage caused by the breakup of families is not going away, especially if we continually turn our backs on the abuse. Research shows that 20-25% of children in divorce situations are alienated from a parent. The impact lasts a life time. That was evident as I spoke to adults, in Albion, PA, who were alienated from their children.

Teachers, college professors, pastors, ministers, doctors, counselors, coaches and many others can begin to help children in an area that is desperately needed. Right relationships are what life is all about! Parental alienation is real, parental alienation is child abuse!

CONTACT DENIAL IS CHILD ABUSE - STAND UP FOR ZORAYA - 2016

Parental Alienation Awareness

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So, I’m wondering how ADHD and Parental Alienation have become intertwined.  ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is a problem of not being able to focus, being overactive, not being able control behavior, or a combination of these. For these problems to be diagnosed as ADHD, they must be out of the normal range for a person’s age and development. I’ve heard many people in the PA community also bash ADHD.  Here’s my problem with that argument: ADHD encompasses a much larger community than that of the PA community, or single parent community for that matter.  In fact ADHD  is so prevalent, that the number of children ages 3-17 ever diagnosed with ADHD equal 5.2 million children (source: CDC).  That is a huge statistic.  Boys by far outweigh girls.  WHY is this? 

First, I have to say that my opinion on the cause greatly differs from that held by some in…

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Preponderance of Evidence, Parental AlienatIon, and Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress

Family Court Insanity, PAS is Child Abuse

Preponderance of Evidence Standard.

If You Seek a Bio-Chemical Cause for Mental Health Disorders…

You will become the
“Little Train that Couldn’t”

By Linda J. Gottlieb, LMFT, LCSW-r

My opinion on the origin of mental illness is controversial to many in my profession. I maintain that emotional disturbances are situationally and not bio-chemically caused. But this position did not originate with me. It originated with my mentor, Assersions and Evidence - 2015Salvador Minuchin, the world-renowned, highly respected child psychiatrist. Dr. Minuchin (as with his contemporaneous psychiatrists who founded the family therapy movement, such as Murray Bowen, Don Jackson, Jay Haley, Carl Whitaker, Nathan Ackerman, John Weakland, et al.) does not accept an intra-psychic or biochemical cause of mental disorders. Resulting from 65 years of practice, Dr. Minuchin affirms that traumatic situations; unhealthy relationships; and dysfunctional family dynamics, such as the PAS, cause mental health disorders. Diagnosis of mental health is not a science! There is no empirical evidence for any mental health disorder. You cannot inject the brain, withdraw serum, and have it analyzed. Any psychiatrist or mental health diagnostician worth his/her salt (and even those who are not worth their salt) must acknowledge that diagnosis of emotional disorders is based merely upon “impressions.”