“Your dad has cancer that has spread all over his body…” was the text message that I received from my sister Keisha who heard the information from our Uncle Barney who has been more than a father than Bobby could dream of. I texted back, “That’s unfortunate.”
I didn’t talk about it anymore until 4 days later when Keisha sent another message from Uncle Barney letting me know that Bobby wanted to speak with me and shared the phone number to his hospital room in Florida. I contemplated … and then made a decision. I figured as a growing Christian and as a man with morals that I couldn’t let another human being die without honoring a simple request to hear my voice.
That jaw-dropping number, 7.2 million more potential votes than Barack Obama carried in 2008 and almost 13 million more than Mitt Romney carried in 2012, is the least result achievable when you turn out THE MONSTER VOTE.
Remember, this same predictive model NAILED the turnout on both the GOP Primary side and the Democrat primary side. – SEE HERE–
What the New York Times is statistically beginning to quantify is the existence of The Monster Vote. If you look closely at the data behind their newly discovered 10 million potential/predictable voters, you’ll notice the additional votes carry to exactly what we predicted in February.
Even if Republican projection turnout was off by 5 million votes, Trump still wins in a landslide. Heck, even if the projection turnout was off by a staggering 10 million votes, the republican nominee (Trump) would still gets more votes than President Obama did in 2012 and it is highly doubtful Hillary could turn out that level of support. –link–
One example of this lack of respect for fatherhood may be best illustrated by a recent survey of holiday church attendance. At the bottom of the list with Independence Day was, you guessed it, Father’s Day.
As a matter of fact, MOST people no longer can even tell you when Father’s Day is! Why has this once welcomed day to honor fathers become little more than a footnote to church attendance or the evening news?
Despite the fact many of us have fallen for that misrepresentation, there are many good men who are great dads who have embraced the God-given role of fatherhood and are making an impact in the lives of their children and helping them to build and live successful lives.
Conversely, the one common denominator of many of society’s ills—pornography, human trafficking, abortion, rape, murder, alcoholism, teen suicide, and incarceration—can be traced to absentee fathers.
Few social policies seem to do as much universal good as paid paternity leave: Study after study has shown that when a father plays an active role in a child’s early years, he or she will end up healthier, achieve greater academic success, and even make more money. Everybody wins. Unfortunately, our country’s paid family …
Few social policies seem to do as much universal good as paid paternity leave: Study after study has shown that when a father plays an active role in a child’s early years, he or she will end up healthier, achieve greater academic success, and even make more money. Everybody wins. Unfortunately, our country’s paid family …
Which presidential candidate is best for dads?
Which presidential candidate is best for dads?
Politicians prefer to define problems in a way that makes them fixable, especially if “We the People” granted politicians more power. While they try to look busy with the easy, fixable problems, they ignore problems — perhaps the real problems — that are hard to solve.
Thus, they often seem more concerned with looking like they are fixing things so they can preserve their own position than actually taking on meaningful reform.
This dynamic is responsible for much of the population’s anger and frustration with the establishment that flows freely this election cycle, and fatherlessness is an exceptional example.
Yet the issue does not catch fire with Republicans even as fatherlessness grows.
Part of this is cultural. For example, societal norms have seen a rise in “unformed families,” and cohabitation arrangements are less stable than marital ones. Such cultural problems require cultural fixes, which require long term strategies outside of politics.
Should men become husbands and fathers—and many men today are choosing not to—they don’t stand a chance in a court of law if and when they get divorced. Family court judges are hopelessly biased against fathers. Of the two million restraining orders issued each year—85 percent against men—half don’t include any evidence of violence but rely on vague complaints made without proof or evidence. And once an order is issued, it becomes nearly impossible for a father to retain or regain custody or even get to see his own children. “Right under our noses, massive systemic injustice is being visited upon fathers, threatening the very fundamentals of family, society, and democracy,” writes Todd M. Aglialoro.
However, once a child’s parents split, in the unformed families and in divorce, fatherless often results from court decree. This family lawaspect of the problem has political solutions.
We the People might want solutions, but the establishment prefers the status quo.
Few social policies seem to do as much universal good as paid paternity leave: Study after study has shown that when a father plays an active role in a child’s early years, he or she will end up healthier, achieve greater academic success, and even make more money. Everybody wins. Unfortunately, our country’s paid family …
Children’s psychological reaction to divorce varies a great deal, according to Psychology Today. Their reactions depend on the nature of their relationship with each parent, the intensity and length of their parents’ divorce, how much they see each parent after the divorce and their personality.
Boys and girls suffer equally if their parents go through a lengthy and messy divorce, explains PsychPage.
However, boys act out their frustration and anger. Girls are more likely to internalize their emotions, which can result in depression, physical discomfort or changes in their eating and sleeping habits.
When parents divorce, it is important to maintain routine and stability in their children’s lives, explains Psychology Today.
It is all too common for children, especially adolescents, to become isolated from their divorced parents. Sometimes this isolation can take years to overcome. Children who continue to have a balanced relationship with both parents after a divorce typically cope better in the long run.
After reading the list, don’t get discouraged when you notice that some of your own behaviors have been alienating your ex-spouse. This is normal in even the best of parents. Instead, let the list help sensitize you to how you are behaving and what you are saying to your children. Here are common mistakes:
To prevent the devastating effects of Parental Alienation, you must begin by recognizing the symptoms of PA. You will notice that many of the symptoms or behaviors focus on the parent. When the child exhibits hatred and vilifies the targeted parent, then the condition becomes parental alienation syndrome. After reading the list, don’t get discouraged when you notice that some of your own behaviors have been alienating. This is normal in even the best of parents. Instead, let the list help sensitize you to how you are behaving and what you are saying to your children.
1. Giving children choices when they really have no choice about visits. Allowing the child to decide for themselves to visit when the court order says there is no choice sets up the child for conflict. The child will usually blame the non-residential parent for not being able to decide to choose whether or not to visit. The parent is now victimized regardless of what happens; not being able to see his children or if they see them, the children are angry. Again, if you do these things intentionally, it make give you a chuckle now knowing you are hurting your ex, but you are truly hurting your child who eventually grows up, learns how things work and turns their back on YOU in turn. In literally 90% of these cases, the parent who causes the problem ends up with the short stick.
2. Telling the child what you want them to think is “everything” about the marital relationship or ‘all’ reasons for the divorce is also alienating behavior. The parent usually argues that they are “just wanting to be honest” with their children. This practice is destructive and painful for the child. The alienating parent’s motive is for the child to think less of the other parent. In reality, the child always looks up to a parent. If that parent lets them down in person, then that parent suffers. If you are doing these things, you are in person and it is a let down. You will suffer eventually for these actions.
3. Refusing to acknowledge that children have property and may want to transport their possessions between residences. Doesn’t matter who bought who what. Once it is given to someone, it is theirs.
4. Resisting or refusing to cooperate by not allowing the other parent access to school or medical records and schedules of extracurricular activities. Telling professionals not to let the other parent have access is going to work against you. These professionals know what you are doing. They may humor you but they know the law. It is not yours to rewrite. So ‘behind’ your back, they will grant legally to the other parent whatever it is they need. Also note, if the opposing parent were so evil you felt they do not deserve access, why are they allowed to walk the street? It will backfire in a big way in time.
5. A parent blaming the other parent for financial problems, breaking up the family, changes in lifestyle, or having a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. Just like when you hear someone else tell the same tale, the child may not know it yet, but in time, just like when you heard it, they will know you are an excuse maker.
6. Refusing to be flexible with the visitation schedule in order to respond to the child’s needs or other parent’s work schedule. The alienating parent may also schedule the children is so many activities that the other parent is never given the time to visits. Of course we all know you do this so when the targeted parent protests you can described them as not caring and selfish. However, the child will eventually wise up that the complaining parent only wants to see them and you were the one conflicting the schedule.
7. Assuming that if a parent had been physically abusive with the other parent, it follows that the parent will eventually assault the child. This assumption is not always true. Sometimes you cause the other parent to dislike you and become abusive. Pretending this is not true does not change the facts.
8. Asking the child to choose one parent over another parent causes the child considerable distress. If you try to sneak in “Well, which of us would you rather be with?” you are looking for trouble. Typically, they do not want to reject either parent, but instead want to avoid the issue. The child, not the parent, should initiate any suggestion for change of residence.
9. Children will always at one time or another become angry with a parent. This is normal, particularly if the parent disciplines or has to say “no”. If for any reason the anger is not allowed to heal, you can suspect parental alienation. Trust your own experience as a parent. Children will forgive and want to be forgiven if given a chance. Be very suspicious when the child calmly says they cannot remember any happy times with you or say anything they like about you. That means someone at home is brainwashing them.
10. Be suspicious when a parent or step-parent raises the question about changing the child’s name. A mother can change her name back to maiden but in the majority of cases where the child is denied the father’s last name, the amount of further alienation is immeasurable. There is no other means that compares to show what is to come if a mother changes or denies the father’s name. It will not get better.
11. When children cannot give reasons for being angry towards a parent or their reasons are very vague without any details. This is because the alienated parent has done nothing to them. The child becomes confused but eventually realizes, it was all brain washing.
12. A parent having secrets, special signals, a private rendezvous, or words with special meanings are very destructive and reinforce an on-going alienation. Act your age before the child out grows you.
13. When a parent uses a child to spy or covertly gather information for the parent’s own use, the child receives a damaging message that demeans the victimized parent. Try this with a teenager and they may just switch homes on you.
14. Parents setting up temptations that interfere with the child’s visitation. Planning vacations or special events or trips to the mall to buy something they always wanted. Making the child late is another common mistake. As a full time parent, you can easily schedule things around the visiting parent. Learn to do so.
15. A parent suggesting or reacting with hurt or sadness to their child having a good time with the other parent will cause the child to withdraw and not communicate. They will frequently feel guilty or conflicted not knowing that it’s “okay” to admit they have fun with their other parent. Just as different breeds of dogs cannot mate, they still get along and realize it’s OK to be different. The faster you do this, the easier the rest of your life will become.
16. The parent asking the child about his/her other parent’s personal life causes the child considerable tension and conflict. Children who are not alienated want to be loyal to both parents. They also do not think of their parents in this light. Putting them there will push them away from you.
17. When parents pretend physically or psychologically rescue the children when there is no threat to their safety. This practice reinforces in the child’s mind the illusion of threat or danger, thereby reinforcing alienation until the child realizes the only fear is that of when you will pull this act again. You will scare them into leaving you.
18. Making demands on the other parent that is contrary to court orders. You are not the law and eventually the law will find out and the law will enforce itself, correct you and cause such embarrassment, it may cost you custody.
19. Listening in on the children’s phone conversation they are having with the other parent. They do not want you listening in when they speak to their friends and you do not. So do you not think they will find it bizarre if you suddenly insist on listening in on this particular conversation?
20. One way to cause your own alienation is making a habit of breaking promises to your children. Especially if they are promises that deter the child from giving affection or time to the other parent. In time, your ex-spouse will get tired of having to make excuses for you and the child will leave the truth.
You may think you know better or are more clever than those who have tried this before you, but trust us, you do not know better nor realize what you are doing. Don’t believe it? Someone else agrees…..
“Develops in individuals assaulted by ethical violations, legal abuses, betrayals, and fraud” and that’s exacerbated by “abuse of power and authority and a profound lack of accountability in our courts.” ~ Karin P. Huffer
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Never doubt why so many are working so hard to #fixfamilycourts Every parent starts out equal but does not remain that way in the So-called family courts.
Once you enter that court you feel nothing but attacked. Your life and decisions are no longer your own. Your children are stripped from the life you thought you were protected to live. People in the family court process step in between you and your child regardless of whether you are for or not.
Some like Chris are left with no hope of ever recovering. What do you do when the court you thought would protect you and your child from vicious attacks on your fundamental rights fails you? Where do you turn when you cannot afford justice and when there is no hope for it?
Exactly two years ago today Chris Mackney took his own life after enduring the horrors of family court as long as he was able. The ex-wife (Dina Mackney) of Ch… See More
Bullied to Death: Chris Mackney’s Kafkaesque Divorce There is no one way or no best way to tell the story of a man driven by others to…Read More
There is no one way or no best way to tell the story of a man driven by others to take his life. I know, because I have been trying to explain to state leaders, media, and professionals how this is happening to good people who trust our legal system to work to protect them and their children. Challenging doesn’t even touch it. Author Mike Volpe…Read More
Where is the LOVE? …where on Earth.. ….not in Family Court or the hearts of those within the CPS, CYFS, SS. CAS or any other child…Read More
Gary Treistman explains how the Family Court System separated his daughter from him.
Owen Lucas films his open letter to the court admitting that he is in contempt of court for doing so.
He tells us of his grief and impotence in the face of the family court system.
Owen speaks for so many fathers who find themselves in the palm of ex-partners colluding with a system that in many cases, strips fathers of their homes, their children and their dignity – and often their jobs and financial stability too.
Mothers are given legal aid and fathers are not unless there is already proven child abuse.
In cases where abuse is suspected or even confirmed, a father has no clout to impact the family court system in many cases.
NB. If you know a child is being abused, ensure that a. you take photographs b. you film them speaking of the events and c. you inform the police without delay. These three steps may well be the difference between whether you become alienated from, or the main caregiver to your child/children.
The Cause “Stand Up For Zoraya” celebrates the love fathers have for their daughters, inspiring them to embrace the important role they hold in their daughters’ lives and to provide the love, nurture, and emotional support that only they can give. Every once in a while I feel like this blog was written by someone else, maybe a long lost friend,…Read More
Yesterday I gazed out the window watching fireworks and was really missing my angel but I cannot call her because I am scared of her mom’s false allegations and lies, she doesn’t call me and knowing she is…Read More
WLYB……I have tried to educate this board of 4 Florida Judges (Chief Judge Bertila Soto-11th Jud. Cir. FL, Judge Garber-3rd DCA FL,…Read More
I write about it because it’s too important not to. The subject is judicial bias in family courts. Now, we’re frequently told that there is no judicial bias on the part…
My opinion on the origin of mental illness is controversial to many in my profession. I maintain that emotional disturbances are…Read More
If You Seek a Bio-chemical Cause for Mental Health Disorders, You will become the “Little Train that Couldn’t” By Linda J. Gottlieb, LMFT, LCSW-r My opinion on the origin of mental illness is controversial to many in my profession. I maintain that emotional disturbances are situationally and not bio-chemically caused. But this position did not…
Letter sent to David Inguanzo on December 24th, 2008. October 5th, 2008 – After spending a “family” day out (Mom, Dad, my son David, and…Read More
Judge Valerie Manno Schurr appointed Mark Meland as a receiver for a company after finding it in “default” for failing to turn over financial records to South Florida power broker Chris Korge, who is represented by Kendall Coffey. Huh? Was the “default” a discovery sanction? Did the Judge strike the defendant’s pleadings? Is that what the…Read More
“Anyone who has ever worked in a legal aid office or law library has met people whose lives have come unhinged after a bad contact with the…Read More
This is the first post on this blog to introduce Legal AbuseSyndrome (LAS), a condition proposed by marriage and family therapist Karin P. Huffer, whose books on the subject of post-traumatic stress stemming from court-mediated violations are Overcoming the Devastation of Legal Abuse Syndrome (1995) and Legal Abuse Syndrome: 8 Steps for Avoiding…Read More
Across the country women, children, AND MEN are becoming the victims of judges and the court system. It is time that we take a stand, and…Read More
When someone hurts us and/or our children, our first reaction is to protect ourselves or to call the police. We think that as victims that the authorities should be there to help us; that as innocent victims the police, and court system should there for the best interest of the…Read More
The death of Christopher Mackney and his suicide note:
Mothers make infants but when the infants become children they are likely to be less well socialized if they have no fathers. 1 It is largely father absence which creates ghettos and gangs and messed-up kids—boys trying to find their identity through violence, girls trying to find their identity through sexual promiscuity which generates the male violence of the next generation. They need real fathers, sociological fathers, not mere biological studs interested in a one-night stand or a brief or superficial relationship. Sociological fatherhood is real fatherhood. It is also what Margaret Mead called “a social invention.” In the ghettos biological fathers seldom become sociological fathers, seldom amount to much, because Mom’s sexual promiscuity or disloyalty—her belief in what feminists call a woman’s right to control her own sexuality—denies them the role of sociological fatherhood. Lawmakers and judges fail to understand that fatherhood is a social invention, that it must be created and maintained by society. This is the main reason patriarchal society— the father kinship system—exists. They do not grasp that social heredity has become part of biology and that fathers are the primary means of transmitting social heredity. They suppose that humans can live like cattle, without fathers, with only the meager social heredity found in female kinship systems such as ghettos and Indian reservations. Until lawmakers and judges see that they must support the father’s role because it is the weak biological link in the family we will have more matriarchy—along with its accompaniments: educational failure, illegitimacy, teen suicide, gangs and the rest.
This book deals with the problems of: THE FEMALE KINSHIP SYSTEM OR MATRIARCHY OR THE CLASSIFICATORY SYSTEM OR MOTHER-RIGHT——the system of female-headed families” which has created ghettos and barrios by encouraging women to marry the state and breed fatherless children who are eight times more likely to become delinquent.
1) FALSE STATEMENT: Proponents of PAS, predominantly right-wing “fathers’ rights” groups, have been trying for years to force legitimacy upon this unfounded theory
TRUTH*** Women’s Groups and Father’s Groups are working towards the inclusion of Parental Alienation. It is gender-neutral.
2) FALSE STATEMENT: PAS is a tactical ploy used by attorneys whose clients (primarily fathers) are seeking custody of their children.
TRUTH*** Although PAS could, at any time, be used as a ploy by either parent. However, if Judges, Parental Coordinators, and Guardian Ad Litems, etc., are educated about Parental Alienation then this won’t be a concern (or at least any more of a concern than any other false accusation that either parent could make. By remaining ignorant to the issues that both Mothers and Fathers face, the court system is failing families. Gardner outlined the 8 manifestations of Parental Alienation, and many other researchers have backed up his theory. In cases of actual abuse, Parental Alienation can not be considered a factor!
3) FALSE STATEMENT: A protective parent who accuses her/his ex-spouse of harming their child(ren) is deemed mentally ill — solely by virtue of the accusation.
TRUTH*** Parental Alienation Syndrome, or Parental Alienation Disorder in no way suggests that the parent who accuses his/her ex-spouse of harming the children is deemed mentally ill-solely by virtue of the accusation. NOW would like you to believe this, but it is outright false. Parental Alienation is the act of the parent alienating the child, however PAS/PAS describes when the child has succumbed to the effects of Parental Alienation.
4) FALSE STATEMENT: Ludicrously, the PAS theory holds that the protective parent and child can only be “cured” of their “disease” by being totally separated.
TRUTH*** Again, NOW would like to have you believe this is the truth. The goal is to recognize that children need to have a relationship with both parents. CHILDREN NEED BOTH PARENTS.
5) FALSE STATEMENT: …Children may go through a phase of “splitting” their parents, lavishing love on one and anger toward the other. Responsible research has shown these phases to be temporary.
TRUTH*** In normal divorces, children may go through a temporary phase of uncertainty, however in cases where Parental Alienation exists the children’s alienation could potentially be lifelong. I’ve heard parents tell me their children were alienated anywhere from 5-45+ years.
6) FALSE STATEMENT: No valid, empirical evidence exists for such a mental disorder (PAS)
TRUTH*** As stated by Linda J. Gottlieb, LMFT: “IT IS JUNK SCIENCE TO STATE THAT THE PAS IS JUNK SCIENCE! To cite a mere few references which reject the PAS is to overlook the preponderance of scientific support and evidence from the practices world-wide of mental health and matrimonial practitioners. The support for the PAS is well-documented by (Baker, 2007; Barden, 2006; Gottlieb, 2012; Kopetski, 2006; Lorandos, 2006; Lowenstein, 2006; Sauber, 2006; Steinberger, 2006; Warshak, 2001, 2006, 2010; just to cite a fraction.)”
Capable and loving father Charlie Mercieca longing for his children and Justice as many other capable and loving parents longing for the right to be a parent to… BRAINSYNTAX.COM|BY CHARLIE MERCIECA
I didn’t talk about it anymore until 4 days later when Keisha sent another message from Uncle Barney letting me know that Bobby wanted to speak with me and shared the phone number to his hospital room in Florida. I contemplated … and then made a decision. I figured as a growing Christian and as a man with morals that I couldn’t let another human being die without honoring a simple request to hear my voice.
However, boys act out their frustration and anger. Girls are more likely to internalize their emotions, which can result in depression, physical discomfort or changes in their eating and sleeping habits.
It is all too common for children, especially adolescents, to become isolated from their divorced parents. Sometimes this isolation can take years to overcome. Children who continue to have a balanced relationship with both parents after a divorce typically cope better in the long run.
5) FALSE STATEMENT: …Children may go through a phase of “splitting” their parents, lavishing love on one and anger toward the other. Responsible research has shown these phases to be temporary.
