When did she stop treating you like a hero?

Blogs Followed, Family Court Insanity, Fathers' Rights, PAS is Child Abuse, Petitions, Presidential Election

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The problem is that many courts ignore false allegations against fathers and men. False allegations of domestic violence and child abuse are common in family law proceedings and the person making the allegation (predominately female) far too often succeeds. This is a low risk tactic because the courts rarely hold false accusers accountable for their conduct.

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I have found that mediators, social workers, police and probation officers extensively quote the accuser and ignore the facts given by the falsely accused person. Worse, they deliberately fabricate statements and then attribute these fabricated statements to the falsely accused party. I have seen sixty-three (63) separate occurrences where such persons used the same text and just filled in the blanks, changing only the name. Many judges fail to act in good faith and sometimes courts alter signed documents and testimony given under an oath of truthfulness.Enforce Visitation NOT Child Support - 2016

Dr. Ned Holstein, founder and board chair of National Parents Organization said: “Unfortunately, however, our nation’s family courts prevent millions of divorced and separated fathers from having meaningful relationships with their children, which only leave their children more vulnerable to this unfortunate behavior.” 

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The core of this issue is that one spouse wants to control the other through child custody and the money and the property they gain to receive. A key factor in false allegations of spousal abuse and in Parental Alienation Syndrome is that the controlling party is incapable of civility and truthfulness about their partner. These abusers are selfish and do not care what the other parent or children feel.1dedb-family2blaw2b-2bfathers2band2bfamilies

A false accusation can give an abusive woman exclusive control of the children and the property. This gives them a nearly insurmountable advantage in the legal system. Our misandrious courts often treat innocent males as the guilty party and do not require proof that an accusation be true. The problem is that false allegations of abuse, when recanted or proven false, can devastatingly affect the victim and their children. This can cause permanent physical, emotional, and economic effects. The problem is that the courts rarely punish those who lie or abet such conduct.

So with a stroke of a pen, a female can get the other parent out of her life and assure herself of control of the children. That power extends to her control of her husband, his earnings, and his property. False allegations of abuse is a crime - 2016The governments have structured our support laws to account for household income rather than the ex-husband‘s income alone. Child support is taxable to the payer and not the recipient. With those so easily made signatures. This means that the ex-wife can increase her tax-free income from combined incomes of her former husband and his current spouse or a live-in partner.75aa1-youtube2bchannel2bart2b-2b2015

This is how the laws exacerbate the problem in states having high child support guidelines, high wages, and high cost of living. Higher wages bring higher tax rates yet most payers of child support cannot claim children as dependents. Moving to other states that have a lower cost of living is not an option for non custodial parents because court ordered child support payments remain unchanged. Worse, moving to another region with a lower cost of living may trigger a court review that increases child support payments.

Custodial parents can often improve their living standard by moving to states or regions that have a lower cost of living. This is how they can still collect the same court ordered tax-free ‘child support’ payments. The courts often base child support payments on how much contact that the non custodial parent has with their child (or children). Moving away and false accusations are tactics that have exacted larger child support payments.c79ef-who2bdo2bwe2bblame2b-2bmessage2bfrom2bpaoo2b-2b2015

Deterioration of the Parental Relationship

Far too often parents fail to agree in advance on issues about raising children. Moreover, they fail to plan for a maturing relationship where roles and responsibilities change. So when parents are in conflict about these issues, then Parental Alienation Syndrome can come to the forefront.

The public behavior of an abusive parent or spouse can be amiable but their private behavior is often quite different. Abusive parents and spouses use fear and reprisal. When a parent’s interest places control rather than sharing before the child’s welfare, and the child is left between an angry warring person and a caring parent.

When a young child has not had contact with the other parent for some time, they can be tentative and shy. However, shyness is one matter but fear is another matter. In a fear-based environment, the alienating parent attempts to demolish the child’s sense of self-worth such that the child becomes a possession and not a growing living person. It does not take much thought to become a biological father or mother but it takes an unstinting resolve to become one. So when mom and dad work together, their children flourish with abundance that comes from working together in parental synergism.

The motivations behind Parental Alienation Syndrome and contriving false allegations of child abuse, child molestation, and spousal abuse are nearly identical. Telling a child “my way or the highway” or telling a husband “I’ll fix you” is wrong and clearly illustrates selfish, abhorrent, and threatening behavior. These behaviors have no place in the home.

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The problem is that many courts ignore false allegations against fathers and men. False allegations of domestic violence and child abuse are common in family law proceedings and the person making the allegation (predominately female) far too often succeeds. This is a low risk tactic because the courts rarely hold false…  See MoreGet the help you need bio mom - 2015

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7 thoughts on “When did she stop treating you like a hero?

  1. HOW DID CHILDREN OF DIVORCE GET STUCK WITH THE VISITATION PLAN THAT AFFORDS THEM ACCESS TO THEIR NON-RESIDENTIAL PARENT ONLY ONE NIGHT DURING THE WEEK AND EVERY OTHER WEEK-END?

    What is the research that supports such a schedule? Where is the data that confirms that such a plan is in the best interest of the child?Well, reader, you can spend your time from now until eternity researching the literature, and YOU WILL NOT DISCOVER ANY SUPPORTING DATA for the typical visitation arrangement with the non-residential parent! The reality is that this arrangement is based solely on custom. And just like the short story, “The Lottery,” in which the prizewinner is stoned to death, the message is that deeds and judgments are frequently arrived at based on nothing more than habit, fantasy, prejudice, and yes, on “junk science.”This family therapist upholds the importance of both parents playing an active and substantial role in their children’s lives—-especially in situations when the parents are apart. In order to support the goal for each parent to provide a meaningfully and considerable involvement in the lives of their children, I affirm that the resolution to custody requires an arrangement for joint legal custody and physical custody that maximizes the time with the non-residential—-with the optimal arrangement being 50-50, whenever practical. It is my professional opinion that the customary visitation arrangement for non-residential parents to visit every other weekend and one night during the week is not sufficient to maintain a consequential relationship with their children. Although I have heard matrimonial attorneys, children’s attorneys, and judges assert that the child needs the consistency of the same residence, I deem this assumption to be nonsense. I cannot be convinced that the consistency with one’s bed trumps consistency with a parent!Should the reader question how such an arrangement can be judiciously implemented which maximizes the child’s time—even in a 50-50 arrangement—-with the non-residential parent, I direct the reader to the book, Mom’s House, Dads House, by the Isolina Ricci, PhD.Indeed, the research that we do have supports the serious consequences to children when the father, who is generally the non-residential parent, does not play a meaningful role in lives of his children. The book, Fatherneed, (2000) by Dr. Kyle Pruitt, summarizes the research at Yale University about the importance of fathers to their children. And another post on this page summarizes an extensive list of other research.Children of divorce or separation of their parents previously had each parent 100% of the time and obviously cannot have the same arrangement subsequent to their parents’ separation. But it makes no sense to this family therapist that the result of parental separation is that the child is accorded only 20% time with one parent and 80% with the other. What rational person could possibly justify this? By Linda J. Gottlieb, L.M.F.T., L.C.S.W.
    http://iloveandneedmydaughter.blogspot.com/2013/04/childrens-rights-another-easter-without.html

    Liked by 4 people

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