I argue that caring is contagious. One cannot ask a jury or a judge to care if the lawyer does not care. We tend to like caring people. That’s because we like to be cared about, and some of us like to be cared for. We tend to trust caring people. I say caring is a disease that can easily be caught. But true caring is sometimes hard to come by. Trial lawyers are asked to care for vicious killers, for people who commit horrible acts of cruelty, persons who do evil things, hurt children and cheat old people out of their life’s savings.
But the accused were once innocent children. As all of us, they began life with a clean, pure unmarked canvas. Much of what is written on the canvas is the cruel psychic graffiti, the ugly splashes, smears and slashes laid on the canvas by those who were parents qualified for that sacred trust only by virtue of their reproductive organs, by those who themselves were never cared for. To that extent, not caring is also a disease – one that is often fatal to a useful and productive life.
I suspect that we could put a wiggly little loving Spaniel puppy in a cage, starve it, poke it with sharp sticks, never pet it, ignore its need for love and sustenance and convert the pup into a vicious attack animal when it was grown. But there still remains in that dog the puppy.
The metaphor is imperfect and sentimental, but you get the drift. One wonders if we are not placing our condemnation in the wrong place. Ought we not be prosecuting the puppy’s owner? Extending the argument, are we not often prosecuting the wrong person – the parents, those who were responsible for the child, those who by hate and ignorance molded the child into the killer and the rapist – ought they not be the accused in the case?
My view is simple: I see the innocent child first. When I see the monster the child has become I feel sadness at the waste and horror at its consequences, and I feel helpless over my inability to change either the accused or the system that created the accused, a system that now prosecutes him with more of the same – more fear and more hatred. Indeed, hatred and fear are the most contagious diseases of all. But one thing a trial lawyer can do – and must do. He or she must give the accused, the first victim, a caring and competent defense.
Get the News Media Attention on Family Law Reform
Children, Families and Society as a whole are being undermined by the effects Family Law Courts, Child Protection. Join the campaign and make a difference. – CAUSES.COM
The Fathers’ Rights Movement · Courts rarely do anything for the fathers.You can fight for years, spending your life savings, your retirement, sell the house, even cash in the children’s college funds you have been putting away for them and spend it all, just so your children can have an involved father in their life and you still only get 4 days a month with your child. If your lucky they might throw in a weekday “visit”.The point of this post is to bring to light that glaring issue of gender discrimination in today’s world.
Mothers have the power. Given to them by gender biased courts.
Piss your BM of your child off and your child will grow up with a “new daddy”.
I know men who have spent everything financially given everything emotionally, spiritually and mentally
Attempting to be involved fathers but are still restricted to no more then 4 days a month.I know men that have been given shared custody of their children by a court order, yet haven’t been allowed access to their children in years. Not even allowed a phone call to them to tell them that they Love them and are all they think about and that they didn’t just abandon them.
Yet, is there a custody enforcement division to make sure these children don’t grow up without the fathers who love them? No there isn’t.
It’s too bad…
…so sad.But if one of these fathers becomes unemployed or falls on hard times and misses a few child support payments for the children they are denied any access to, it’s off to the slammer.
Cause that’s “in the best interest if the child.”
These are not isolated cases either.
We have 72k people (men and women) on the TFRM page in these situations and It grows by another 1-200 a day. Each and every day.The gender bias in the family court system is out of hand.
When mothers are awarded SOLE custody 8 times as often as fathers you cannot say it has nothing to do with gender.
It has everything to do with gender and is flat out gender discrimination against fathers and men and the true victims are the children.
I am no less capable of loving, caring, and nurturing my child than a mother, simply because of the gender to which I was born.
Respectfully,
Thomas Fidler
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Two absolute requirements for a trial lawyer, yes, any lawyer are (1) a conscientious caring for his or her client and (2) the credibility of the lawyer. One cannot exist without the other and absent either, the lawyer is but an actor, usually a poor one, a gross pretender.
I argue that caring is contagious. One cannot ask a jury or a judge to care if the lawyer does not care. We tend to like caring people. That’s because we like to be cared about, and some of us like to be cared for. We tend to trust caring people. I say caring is a disease that can easily be caught. But true caring is sometimes hard to come by. Trial lawyers are asked to care for vicious killers, for people who commit horrible acts of cruelty, persons who do evil things, hurt children and cheat old people out…
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American Fathers 
Parental collaboration almost always facilitates the child’s optimal development and achieves the desired results. The post-divorce situation most assuredly requires the same parental collaboration so that the child continues to benefit from the strengths that had been provided by the parent who becomes the nonresidential parent.
Regrettably, however, this collaboration is undermined by our adversarial approach to the resolution of child custody.
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