True or False? “Parental Alienation is a tactical ploy used by attorneys whose clients (primarily fathers) are seeking custody of their children.”

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Missing Years of My Daughter Life by Parental Alienation - 20151) FALSE STATEMENT:  Proponents of PAS, predominantly right-wingfathers’ rights” groups, have been trying for years to force legitimacy upon this unfounded theory

TRUTH*** Women’s Groups and Father’s Groups are working towards the inclusion of Parental Alienation.  It is gender-neutral.

fam law scandal - 2016

2) FALSE STATEMENT:  PAS is a tactical ploy used by attorneys whose clients (primarily fathers) are seeking custody of their children.

TRUTH*** Although PAS could, at any time, be used as a ploy by either parent.  However, if Judges, Parental Coordinators, and Guardian Ad Litems, etc., are educated about Parental Alienation then this won’t be a concern (or at least any more of a concern than any other false accusation that either parent could make.  By remaining ignorant to the issues that both Mothers and Fathers face, the court system is failing families.  Gardner outlined the 8 manifestations of Parental Alienation, and many other researchers have backed up his theory.  In cases of actual abuse, Parental Alienation can not be considered a factor!

3) FALSE STATEMENT: A protective parent who accuses her/his ex-spouse of harming their child(ren) is deemed mentally ill — solely by virtue of the accusation.

TRUTH*** Parental Alienation Syndrome, or Parental Alienation Disorder in no way suggests that the parent who accuses his/her ex-spouse of harming the children is deemed mentally ill-solely by virtue of the accusation.  NOW would like you to believe this, but it is outright false.  Parental Alienation is the act of the parent alienating the child, however PAS/PAS describes when the child has succumbed to the effects of Parental Alienation.

Alienated Daddy - 20154) FALSE STATEMENT: Ludicrously, the PAS theory holds that the protective parent and child can only be “cured” of their “disease” by being totally separated.

TRUTH*** Again, NOW would like to have you believe this is the truth.  The goal is to recognize that children need to have a relationship with both parents.  CHILDREN NEED BOTH PARENTS.

c79ef-who2bdo2bwe2bblame2b-2bmessage2bfrom2bpaoo2b-2b20155) FALSE STATEMENT:  …Children may go through a phase of “splitting” their parents, lavishing love on one and anger toward the other. Responsible research has shown these phases to be temporary.

TRUTH*** In normal divorces, children may go through a temporary phase of uncertainty, however in cases where Parental Alienation exists the children’s alienation could potentially be lifelong.  I’ve heard parents tell me their children were alienated anywhere from 5-45+ years.

6) FALSE STATEMENT: No valid, empirical evidence exists for such a mental disorder (PAS)

TRUTH*** As stated by Linda J. Gottlieb, LMFT: “IT IS JUNK SCIENCE TO STATE THAT THE PAS IS JUNK SCIENCE! To cite a mere few references which reject the PAS is to overlook the preponderance of scientific support and evidence from the practices world-wide of mental health and matrimonial practitioners. The support for the PAS is well-documented by (Baker, 2007; Barden, 2006; Gottlieb, 2012; Kopetski, 2006; Lorandos, 2006; Lowenstein, 2006; Sauber, 2006; Steinberger, 2006; Warshak, 2001, 2006, 2010; just to cite a fraction.)”

Right to be a parent maliciously prevented with the help of hired racketeering rings Family Law…

Capable and loving father Charlie Mercieca longing for his children and Justice as many other capable and loving parents longing for the right to be a parent to… BRAINSYNTAX.COM|BY CHARLIE MERCIECA

ARTICLE ~ Mothers, Children at Risk as Fathers’ Rights Groups Seek Legitimacy for Phony Mental “Disorder”

Denial of reasonable access to your own kids is child abuse

#StandupforZoraya #SayHerName, Blogs Followed, Family Court Insanity, Fathers' Rights, PAS is Child Abuse, Petitions, Presidential Election

Child Abuse and the Role of Parental Denial

I recently had the opportunity of revisiting a question that I have struggled to find answers to for many years. The question is, why, in the face of a parent sexually, physically or verbally abusing a child, does the other parent remain silent?

Do NOT hurt Zoraya - Facebook.comStandupforZoraya - 2016This is a phenomenon I have been aware of in countless numbers of cases reported to me by patients who are now adult and clearly recall not only the abuse but the fact that the other parent offered no safety.

The question others have asked me and that I ask myself is, how or why would a parent remain silent in the face of children being abused. Here a few hypotheses.

1. Denial is a powerful and primitive defense mechanism. Someone who is dependent, frightened and themselves the victim of abuse, can remain silent and not even see or hear the abuse in order to maintain the desperately needed relationship with the abuser. In a way, it is a variation of the old saying, “Hear no evil, see no evil.” Well, people do hear it and see it and fail to act.PAS Monkeys - 2016

32d7c-denying2ba2bchild2bto2ba2bparent2bis2bevil2b-2b20162. Both abuser and spouse can be mentally ill people who collude out of mutually shared sadism. In others words, there are a few people who can get a sense of pleasure out of treating children abusively.

3. Over the years, I have known a few cases in which the wife has such a deep need to avoid sexual relations that they prefer their husband engage in Oedipal relations with a daughter. This is usually unconscious with full denial in operation.

4. Chronic and severe drug and alcohol abuse loosen inhibitions that otherwise sober and sensible people do things that would shock them if they were not under the influence of certain types of drugs.

5. There are parents who, having been raised in strict and abusive environments, then repeat the pattern once they are parents. Saddest thing in the world - 2016The vicious cycle of abuse is probably the major cause of domestic violence in the United States.

One of the distressing and utterly frustrating and despairing things that survivors of abuse discover as adults, is that their parents deny that anything ever happened.

Patients have reported to me that parents, when confronted by their adult child with the abuse they committed, tell their son or daughter that their memory is wrong.

It is natural to ask why an adult would now confront their parents about abusive acts that happened during childhood? Apparently, the answer is that these survivors are seeking an apology and an affirmative statement admitting their wrong doing. This is what makes the discussion so filled with despair for so many survivors.

Society Do Nothing - 2016.pngThe despair results not simply by the refusal of an apology, but the complete denial that anything happened. This is further exacerbated by the fact that neighbors and friends of the parents think them very “nice people” who would never do such a despicable thing as abuse a child.

When Joan Crawford’s daughter published the story of her childhood, a story that depicted Crawford’s cruel and outlandish acts of abuse, there was a public outcry that this never could have happened. Later, the outcry vanished when the truth and accuracy of the story emerged for the public to see.

Difficulties in the Family Courtroom

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custody players 2015

Individuals with either of these syndromes may be willing and able to lie in court in a fully convincing way.Stop Emotional Child Abuse Parental Alienation - 2015 Sometimes, their manipulative skills are so well developed that they are able to influence others to provide false testimony against the victimized parent.

They may run circles around opposing counsel. When accused of visitation interference, they often have what appear to be wonderful explanations for their behavior; some may even be accurate. For example: “I offered many times for him to see his daughter but he just doesn’t cooperate; every time he comes to pick up Billy, Billy cries and refuses to go: he never follows the schedule, your honor, no matter how hard I try. …”

What typically is left out of such testimony is the fact that the interfering parent is either lying or has manipulated the child or the situation to give a false impression that he or she is innocent of the charges.

Disparities in State Family Courts

If the interfering parent continues to violate successfully the visitation regulations, over time the victimized parent often becomes so emotionally and financially depleted that the case fades from the court’s purview. Unfortunately, outside of the courtroom, the visitation interference continues, often with increased strength.

Change, applying to one’s life the wisdom and philosophy found everywhere.

#StandupforZoraya #SayHerName, Blogs Followed, Family Court Insanity, Fathers' Rights, PAS is Child Abuse, Petitions, Presidential Election

Change, the double-edged sword that’s worth mastering

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Eea981-gandhichangexcerpt:

The first thing I did when I doubted myself and my decision to take a new job and move to a new city was talk to people who know and care about me — my wife, family and friends.

They helped, but I also needed an expert on my career, so I reached out to my old boss. He met me at a diner after work and gave me so much good advice that I wrote it down and referred to it often in those early weeks.

Fortune favors the bold

Simply thinking about past challenges in which you came out on top — or at the very least unscathed — is a reminder that you will do so this time as well. There’s also that old linguistic chestnut that the Chinese word for “crises” is also “opportunity.” (It’s true, by the way.) Sometimes our greatest difficulties become our greatest moments of triumph.

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Advocates Build Network

Blogs Followed, Family Court Insanity, Fathers' Rights, Presidential Election

The Love and Iron Project

So, I’m happy to report that one of our posts (the one pinned to the top of our page) got trolled again. I love this, because it means we’re being effective.

So, in order to make the point, I presume, that the position of this page and its followers is invalid, she cites an opinion piece (linked below) by Huffington Post Feminist “Divorce Coach”, Cathy W. Meyer; “Do Dads Really Get Dissed In Divorce Court?”

Please note the following quote taken directly from the website of Ms. Myers:

“I think the female spirit is the most beautiful, complex thing God has ever created. I believe that we can do anything we put our minds too. If you don’t believe me, watch Man on Wire.”

Ok, I think helps lend some perspective on where this piece is starting from.

So, let’s look at the arguments:

Now in her piece, the…

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