Infant bonding is not just a maternal issue

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The Birthright – Relating To Men

A very good friend and well-known advocate of the men’s rights movement recently dropped a video clip into my inbox and simply said, “watch this”. I knew it was important and he had my full attention.

It took only a minute for me to be tuned out from the world and into ‘Laugh After Pokes’, a rap song about Paternity Fraud. Not something you see or hear every day and so I was intrigued. It was immediately apparent that this was one man’s way of sharing his story in a frame that was tragic and yet a clearly cathartic outlet for sharing his creative love with his personal crusade to find out the paternal identity of a child. A child he was told could be his.

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I spoke with Dan Scott (Rapper turned Vlogger) to find out the full story and what circumstances led him to being denied confirmation if he was the paternal father of a child that he had not yet met. A baby girl, he believes to be born on or around 01/12/15.

This is not like any other story I have heard.

There can be little denial that if you have sex, there is a likelihood of conception. It’s a known risk that we mitigate with various forms of contraception and usually a level of trust that at least one of you is doing the right thing. Trust is usually where it goes pear shaped.

When we enter into a relationship and spend time with someone intimately we naturally develop a trust, often irrespective of our past history with others. This is the way it should be. We learn trust very early in our development (between 0-2 years) and at the same time we are developing bonds and attachments, all driven by Oxytocin, the hormone of love secreted to the brain. As nature would have it, we generate this same hormone after sex. We are after all, sexual beings.

When Dan entered into his relationship he naturally developed a level of trust. It wasn’t an ideal relationship, but there was love and attachment.

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On an occasion after having sex his girlfriend made a comment that threw him completely – “did you release your little soldiers? “ and Dan was instantly suspicious. “Was she trying to conceive?” But there was another nagging question spinning in his head. Was she already pregnant and trying to deflect responsibility to him for being the father. At the time, he wasn’t sure why he questioned that, Sometimes it’s hard to know how gut instinct drives our thoughts, but it’s alarms are always strong.I AM A DADDY - 2016